Uh..warning...some sexual topics are described below...so family may not want to read this? It's not MY sex or anything, it's about a book, but still.
Recently I read (in Looking for It by Michael Thomas Ford, in case you were curious), I came across an interesting (and horrible) situation, which made me take a moment to reflect.
The set up (briefly) is this: one man (who is hateful toward his own sexuality) beats two of his partner-for-the-moments, both requiring hospitalization. He often uses the phrase "faggot" or "fag" and is generally a jerk. More than a jerk.
Every time a chapter came up that he narrated, I skimmed it, because he was so hateful and angry that it nearly sickened me and I dreaded seeing what awful thing he was going to do (and likely do to one of the other main characters). However...
It came to pass that while his friend "slept," he gave him oral sex, which his friend was actually at least a little awake for. So his friend comes over and tempts him with his penis (penis is very tempting, it seems), and after the man starts, the friend says he's a "faggot". The man gets offended by this and tries to stop, at which point the friend pretty much holds him down and rapes him (even if the man sorta gets off on it).
Every other chapter I hated this man and wanted nothing but bad things to happen to him, but once something bad DID happen to him (and one could argue he got what he deserved), I felt just as terrible for him as I felt for his previous victims. Perhaps I'm a giant softy. Maybe this is the normal human reaction.
I'm not saying I couldn't raise a hand in the defense of myself or those I love. But I don't think I could ever wish suffering on another. Not much horrible has happened in my life, so I can only suppose this could extend to those who have wronged me. Maybe when it came down to it, I'd be all "let me pull the switch!" but I just don't know.
And those are just my thoughts.
PS. Why is "Ram" one of my labels?