Big plates

With one submission out the door and a huge life decision made (for better or worse), I decided I really need to get off my arse with the writing/submitting thing (especially since said decision was related to that).

I know, I know, you've heard it before.

This time I mean business. I tapped together a monthly planner (because buying one at Target was expensive considering my needs...yes, I'm that cheap) and jotted in some deadlines and some submission deadlines and, well that's it. Oh, and I wrote down holidays. Hey, it's a start!

With MotF out the door, I was trying to focus on PN, but that ol' Valentine's day story nudged me and pointed out it was missing some scenes, so I've been working on them. Not sure why, but why not, right? So after the V-day story I'll finish PN (though the ending keeps getting farther away), resume writing CLRewrite and make edits to BiB.

Not all this month. But I would like to get a chunk/all of this done by end of summer.

I'm not even thinking about betas yet.

Into the depths

My writing/editing/general work ethic has been floppy lately. I work full time and part time, so I guess there's an excuse, but excuses are just that, so bleh.

I'm rewriting CL, although after the first chapter and a half I got derailed by two boys playing piano. Two boys flirting over piano is much easier to write than a man who is heart broken, devastated, and has nothing to live for.

I got the edits done for MotF and submitted it. No idea if it's good enough. As my bosses have proven to me, I have no sense of my self-worth. :D Well, it's been submitted, so I can't do much else about that.

I have a few other stories that keep floating on the edge of my vision, one of which needs some major edits so it doesn't feel cheesy (or any more cheesy than I naturally am), one that is stalled and has great potential but no movement, and I really want to make a submission to the BDSM holiday open call, but the guys are being suspiciously quiet.

That's it for now. One day I'll post more than once a month :D

Not as Planned

Unsurprisingly, life doesn’t go as planned. Writing sometimes even less so.

My plan to work on CL, really dig into my beta’s edits, and get the show on the road during the month of February was a complete and dismal failure.

First came the Valentine’s story (which is waiting for a friend to read and may be waiting forever for that to actually happen), then I read through my beta’s notes, jotted down some ideas, thought about what she said...

...and then I was stuck. She was really encouraging about wanting to see the story published, but after reading through some of her comments about things she thinks needs fixed, I don’t even know where to begin. Some of them are major changes that will require pretty much re-writing the entire thing (or at least I feel like it will).

This leaves me with three choices: Make the changes she recommends without doing complete re-writes and then find a beta to read the new version; get a second beta to read the current version get his/her input; or re-write the whole damn thing.

I know writers are their own harshest critics, but part of me doesn’t even know the story I was telling in CL anymore. I wanted it to be a steampunk tale of how a man falls in love with his servant and his servant falls in love with him. But along the way it got complicated...distracted. It became something else. And while I don’t necessarily hate the story it became, I’m not sure if it’s the story as I meant to tell it.

Where does the leave the author? Kinda depressed, honestly, although not enough to want to give up on the whole endeavor. CL isn’t dead, it’s just not talking to me at the moment, and I’m not sure leaving messages and texting it every week is going to help. So I may give it to another beta, see what that person says and then decide if I’m hobbling it together or starting from scratch. Both are kind of terrifying.

Meanwhile, I have a short story that everyone who read said it felt like the beginning of a story, so I’m re-evaluating it. Taking notes, trying to get a sense of the characters, and wondering how it would be constructed, because I don’t think it feels like an A to B to C plotted story.

(PS, the image is just an amusing thing. Thanks for putting up with the whining!)

A bit off course

Okay, so as February started, everyone on my Twitter list started talking about Valentine's stories and suddenly I had these two characters who stumbled upon each other. 11,000 words later, their story is either done or just beginning and I'm not sure enough to say. Their romance has a very long way to go and it's not really a Valentine story, so I'm not sure what I'm going to do with it, yet.

.

But of course writing that means I didn't do much on CL yet. Oops. I did go through my beta's notes and while she has lovely things to say, she also has some pretty major issues with it. So the plan is tomorrow (since I'm 'finished' with the V-day story) to start pulling apart her issues and seeing what can be fixed and what can't (or shouldn't change) and how I need to rework it.

.

That's it for now!

Boooyah!

I finished Nano2011! Okay, still need a title and tons of editing, but it's "done." This monthly goal thing might be a good idea after all. Now to save it to 6 billion places and tomorrow start looking at CL.

Again.

Wake Me Up Next Week

It's November 30, which means it's the last day of Nanowrimo. So how did I do?

I won!

Which really just means I've reached 50,000 words. The story isn't yet finished (although I'm not sure there will be too much more added to the end), so of course a writer friend commented, "Congrats! Now finish the book!"

Isn't that just how it goes?

But for tonight I'm going to ride on the high of finishing 50,000 words in one month. It's really not that hard if I cut out all the stuff I don't really need to be doing. And if you'll hear my confession: I procrastinated A LOT this year. Imagine if I didn't get distracted by Angry Birds, stare blankly at Twitter for updates, and check my mail, Google Reader, Facebook, tumblr, and GoodReads every other click? I imagine I'd be just as productive, because I'd eventually get distracted by something else. (Like writing long, rambling blog entries.)

So in the month to come I hope to wrap up SWTV, write a Christmas story, and dive back into CL.

Final thought: Writers must be masochists.

It's that time of the year again

No, not Halloween.

Nope, not Thanksgiving either.

I'm talking about Nanowrimo, that time of the year where I become (more) antisocial, think about nothing outside of my characters and plotline, and worry myself sick over a few hundred more words.

Gotta love it!

This year's story is tentatively called "Speak With Their Voices" (from the Poets of the Fall song "Roses"). I look forward to giving you updates on how that story progresses, and if anything shall come of it.

CL is currently with another beta who will give me feedback and, depending on what she says, I will go to a publisher or to the recycling plant (or the garbage heap!). I'm trying not to think about what she'll say, because that just makes me worry and freak out, which does me no good!

Okay, so consider me on quiet mode for the next month, unless something exciting happens. You can find more current updates on my tumblr, which is for quick and dirty ones: http://www.tumblr.com/blog/alexwhitehall

Cup o' Ramble

For those of you who don't know, I have a tumblr where I do more often updates on how my writing/editing is progressing, so I don't clutter my blog with "I edited 2 pages this week. I suck." And in case you care, I'm on page 127/191. I wrote 2,600 words today. Most of which might be crap, but we'll see.

I saw a movie tonight called 29 & Gay (punning on road intersections), talking about a gay man who is 29 and unhappy with his life. Only a year behind him, it certainly hit close to home. Sure, I'm happier with my life overall than he was, but romantically, I could totally understand. So it was an interesting insight into the coupling scene. Not that I'm recommending the movie, it was overall mediocre. I'm not actually sure why I'm sharing this, only that after seeing that movie, I wrote 2,600 words. So maybe it was a good thing.

Also, you may have noticed my blog address changed from something vague and mysterious to my name. I have no idea what that does to you if you were following me. Sorry!

ETA: I just realized I forgot to mention that I sold a short story! I'm doing edits on it this week then sending it back to the publisher!

Time for an update

Because of the nasty weather we had on the East Coast, my weekend was pretty free, and aside from 4 hours of sleep Friday night, followed by barn work, riding and lots of naps, I was rather productive. Not really on Saturday, because I slept, ate, and watched Avatar, and that was about it. But this morning I finished re-reading a book I'm reviewing, I wrote the review, and then I got to editing CL (on page 73 of 177, if you're wondering). Sure, I still have loads of editing to do, but every little step helps.

I'm still not sure how I feel about the story overall, but I think working on it so long has left me rather jaded about it. I look forward to sending it off to someone who will give me an honest response about it. But that's in the future.

I have two other stories that are finished that will also be sent out. One just needs a query written and me to feel like its worth being sent, the other needs a good strong round of edits before the rest happens. And of course, come the end of November I'll hopefully have 50,000 words of a new novel that is brewing in my mind. Plus I have a short story I've started that needs to be finished by April for a submission call.

But for now, it's time for a walk.

Not quitting (update)

I've made a decision.

Actually, I made the decision several days ago, but I was distracted. By something.

I'm not giving up on Clockwork Lives! While I have no idea if I'm going to make it to the deadline, I'm going to give it my best. And what exactly will I be doing? (Probably checking twitter obsessively instead of working...)

I'm going to give CL what it needs. First I'm going to go through it page by page and tear out the bits with questionable writing and fix them up while I'm working in the revisions.

Actually, that's most of it. 160 pages of hardcore fixing. I'm on page 2, if anyone wants to keep count. And, to give myself an idea of how much is changing, I'm putting in all the new text in blue. Well, at least it should make me feel productive.

Once that's all done I'll do more basic edits on it and maybe find a new beta to read the new version (my old beta is going to be 3x too busy). Hopefully the new beta won't send me back to the revision table again.

Then it goes to publisher.

(Waits for laughter to die down.)

Okay, fine, it probably needs more editing after all the revisions I'm making, but that's fine as long as I'm not told "I didn't get it."

Thanks for everyone's comments! (And for my beta-brother who gave the best comments of all in my novel :)*



* I have a really awesome understanding brother who is straight and doesn't mind reading a bit of man on man. How cool is he?

When you just want to quit

After a nap, lunch and a chocolate bar, I saw down with the notes I'd taken about what my beta readers thought I should revise in my novel CL. I knew I had major work to do, since I'd obviously already read through the recommendations and written them down. I'd begun a little brainstorming and thought I had some possible resolutions to some of the problems.

However, as I sat down today to begin what promises to be a long process, I paused, looked at my notes, looked at my story document, looked back to my notes and referenced my mental solutions to the problem.

Well, shit, I said to myself. I should just rewrite the damn thing.

Not the most encouraging thought. I put aside my notes, minimized the novel document and poked around twitter and email for a little, did some browsing on programs to help authors organize novels (and came across Storybook, which I haven't used yet, but is free and could be promising). After I stalled enough, I went back to my story and my notes.

Okay, some parts can be saved. Maybe I'm deluding myself, but I think the last half of the novel is better, mostly because it's told in an active voice instead of trying to cover 5 years in under 40,000 words. So, maybe it's not better, it's just more What It Should Be, although I'm not certain about the plot part of that.

Of course, I'm still in the position where half my novel needs to be rewritten and instead of doing that (by the deadline of Nov. 1, no less), I just want to throw my hands in the air and say, “I quit. This one won't be made into a book, fuck it!”

Which is quickly followed by considering how disappointed my brother would be in me and, honestly, how disappointed I'd be in myself. And I don't want to abandon this work. I feel like it has potential. I love Coren (Royce, even though he's the main character, is not my favorite...somehow). I like the world it resides in, although I now see that the world in my head is not the one I put onto paper (another major rewrite).

So what am I going to do?

Honestly, I don't know yet. It won't get abandoned into the ether. It won't get tossed in the garbage. It won't be submitted as is, that's for certain. The question remains, then, is how much editing am I going to do to it? Am I going to hobble together the good pieces, rework and add what needs to be done and then see how it turns out, OR am I going to open a new blank document and start over? I can't imagine doing the latter, although writing that much in 4 months isn't impossible, just terrifying.

Mostly I just needed to write this down—to face my demons, so to speak—before coming to a decision. I hope to make an update tomorrow on where CL is headed.

Making plans

So after some conversations with friends and family and the (far) looming date of Nanowrimo, I've made some decisions and deadlines.

First I need to finish the current story I'm working on (and not get immediately distracted by another). I've no idea how long that's going to take, but hopefully not all summer :)

After I finish that story, I'm going to work on CL, because it's long overdue. My plan is to get it finished before November. Finished enough to be submitted somewhere, now that I know more about the major works that need to be done to it.

And that'll leave November open to writing 50,000 words on a new story.

So...that's that.

Good luck!

ETA: I forgot to mention that I'm going to take a month--at some point--to only read non-romance novels. Depending on how it goes will determine if I continue it (and slowly re-include romance novels) or just admit to myself that I'll be reading fluff for the rest of my days :). I'm compiling a list, so we'll see how that goes.

Monday after Easter

Last week was exceptionally stressful, so I took today off, because yesterday, despite feeling miserable, I went with my family to visit my Grandmother. While I know my mother appreciated my efforts, I don't think she understands how wretched I felt the whole time and I will never feel guilted into going again. Or at least not for a while.

And I finally used a Christmas gift card I had to Dover Saddlery to buy breeches, gloves and a fly mask. Sure it was a late Christmas present :D

Quick update on new year's resolutions: I meditate every week still, but my slouching efforts have been slightly forgotten. I'm doing good on the reading, for the most part, though my reading amounts have plummeted. Partly due to riding starting up again and partly due to my Netflix account.

In the writing arena, I've stopped making huge progress on my current WIP, which makes me sad and I wonder the reality of writing 5,000 words a week still for it, because I'd like to get it done. For CL, I did some clock research, because I'd like to work some more technical aspects in while I make changes to other elements of the story. But that's been put to the side for the most part too, and I'm guessing I'm going to have to give myself deadlines again in order to get my butt in gear.

In two unrelated notes, I've been working out more recently and I'm contemplating getting a hysterectomy. That's still just in the brain-considering phase though, since it's obviously something I wouldn't want to rush into. I just see no need for that particular organ as it causes me nothing but distress.

Now to spend my day off going for a run, writing, and reading. And if I want a downer, my current Netflix movie is Angels in America @.@.

Writing, Writing, Movies

I have a writing question for the general audience...

I read a series of books and was kinda really into it. So I took the atmosphere of the books and pseudo location and pseudo characters and wrote long story. None of the characters/events/plots/locations are the same, but I think if someone read the same series I did and then read my work, they'd see the similarities. Does that make this story fanfiction and thus unpublishable (assuming I'd want to go that route)? My only concern is because the original series is kind of unique (I haven't read anything like it before), that my story will appear as a huge copycat. I suppose one answer to my question is that because I'm questioning it at all shows that I shouldn't try to publish at all. But I'd be glad to hear your thoughts on the matter.


Update on CL: The end of February was supposed to be finished editing so March could be trolling for publishers. Well, 1/3 of beta readers got back to me and the one who did said she didn't buy the second half of the story and thus stopped halfway (she was also involved in moving, but would have stopped anyway). This was a concern of mine before, and she just confirmed it...but I also wonder if it could pass as a genre thing. I'm not sure how much experience she has in the genre, plus it could just be a personal preference.

The long and short of it is that I think the story has to go back into major rewrites...and I'm not sure how I feel about the ending anymore either. I'd still love for my other betas to get back to me, but I'm not holding my breath (February is a short month and I know they've both been busy with family plans and a new job). Though I'd love to hear if my writing was bearable to read or not.

So my original deadline is going to have to be scrapped. I don't count this as missing deadline because I didn't miss it due to procrastination, but due to the realization that I need major revisions. I'm going to take some time to consider where I want to head with it and then create a new plan. If I don't see any solutions that make me happy, I may just send it off as is and see what publishers have to say.

ETA: I heard back from another reviewer who needs a few extra days. I'll be looking at his commentary before moving forward to see how it fits in with what this other person said.


I created a tumblr account for creative inspiration. Every day I post a picture, a quote, a first line, or a concept on which to write a story. Plus there is a "random" option, so you can use it whenever! Feel free to check it out.

For those who follow me on Facebook, you may have seen that I finally caved and got a Netflix account. I'm currently on the 1-month-free trial, and I'm enjoying it. I'm actually considering cancelling my Comcast, since I don't really watch TV except for Big Bang Theory. But then I consider all the hassle that is and maybe I should just keep both. But that feels wasteful. Anyways, the point is I get to watch more movies! So on Between the Covers I'll add some bunches of movie reviews. (And yes, they'll probably have a queer focus.)

Tattoo Cheese Books

In that order.

Saturday I went and got my tattoo. It didn't hurt too badly, and I think the healing stage is the worst for me (so impatient!) You'd expect there to be a picture of my new tattoo accompanying this post. WELL, my camera software isn't on my computer and I'm lazy. So there.

I organized a cheese party at work, in which I was introduced to Armenian String Cheese. It's delicious. I also tried goat cheese for the first time (two different kinds), edam (pronounce ee-dum), champagne cheddar, and Dubliner (?). It was really cool to try new things, and I came home with a bunch of blocks that people didn't want to take home with them, so if you'd like to try goat cheese, Dubliner or goat cheese (two different kinds), just ask!

Finally, one of my beta readers returned the book with comments. She seemed to enjoy it for the most part (I haven't gotten to look through all the comments yet), but she said about halfway through she just couldn't buy the one major event that happened and she lost her willingness to suspend disbelief. Which really just confirmed some thoughts I had on the matter. Of course, to fix the problem I'd either rewrite the second half or rewrite the whole thing. But I'll wait for what the others say (assuming the read/review).

Also, I really need to NOT stay up past 1 am. Saturday I did just that and that's when I saw my friend's review and I just kind of broke a little. And then I started thinking "Oh God, this tattoo was a huge mistake and now I'm stuck with it forever." Thankfully I had the sense to kick my friends out and go to bed. I woke up more stable, and by today I was perfectly normal (well, my definition of normal^.-) Still happy with my tattoo!

Out of Season

I just finished baking pumpkin custard, thus the title of this blog.

But really, it's meant to be an update on my new year's resolutions:

Meditation: I do it every Monday. How successful that is can be argued, but I sit down and don't do anything for 10 minutes. So I'm working toward meditation.

Sitting up straight: I'm trying. Not doing so well, but I'm trying, so I'm sure I'm making small improvements.

Reading: I am reading other books outside of the usual genre...though I tend to read 8 billion books at once now (okay, 5).

I'm scheduled to get my tattoo on Feb 12. I just sent out the rough draft of my book to my beta readers. I'm going to put off my taxes until tomorrow I think and reward myself with writing and/or reading.

Happy Monday!

Snow up to Here

Here in PA we're getting the largest storm of the season so far, at least it looks to turn out that way if the snow we're expected to get tonight amounts closer to the 8 inch mark. So my normal Wednesday activities are canceled (aside from work, of course), leaving me two extra hours to "get stuff done." On schedule? My computer, editing CL, and washing my dishes (does it ever end?). The exciting life.

My computer (aka, the desktop) was very sick. So I reinstalled Vista (business) from my friend's disk, but because it just "wrote over" what was already there, saved some old files, and didn't remove my partition, the virus (who is a sneaky duck) remained. Yesterday my friend came over to remove the partition (thus wiping the harddrive) and installed Vista (home premium) for me (legit version, since I've got a product key). She seems better now, and I've begun re-installing all those lovely programs I had before. I get to re-install more tonight. It doesn't even bother me, as long as everything is virus-free.

Editing is going well for CL! I'm up to page 113 of 158, and I don't think it sucks. It might not be brilliant, but I think I'll be okay with handing it off to my three betas for whatever horrors they'd like to report back. I plan to get it to them at the end of the month. They'll get it back to me when they do (hopefully no later than March 15, but I'm not putting time limits on them). I've begun compiling lists of publishers (do they take simultaneous submissions? do they list standard contract rates? do they give time lines?) and it gives me squirmies in my stomach. Thankfully once I send CL off, I'll have to wait a minimum of 2-4 weeks (more likely a minimum of 4) before I hear anything. That's a month of freedom. (Well, sorta freedom since I have stories waiting to be written, glaring at me from my flash drives.)

You don't need to hear about my dishes.

Also, on one of my various other communications, you may have heard I'm having stomach troubles. It's been going on for the last week and is a serious annoyance. I can eat, but some things set it off, but not every day. Monday I felt back to normal, but then halfway through Tuesday, my stomach did it's rumbling and my throat clenched up and UHG, it was back. Again, this is just a minor inconvenience (and I think I had similar problems in high school). But I'm pretty certain it's not contagious, so no worries.

Finally, I'm thinking of signing up for some writing classes at the local community college, if they offer them next semester. I think it'd be a good idea to get more consistent feedback and forced to write outside my comfort zone a bit. Or maybe see if there is a "writing circle" in the area (very much doubt it). I don't want my skills to become stagnant! (ETA: When I got home there was information on the next semester and there is a “Creative Writing Sampler,” which is $99. My only fear is that it's going to be too remedial, but how pompous is that?)

...and really finally, this time: Patric Michael, an M/M romance author, recently fought off cancer, a really rare lymphatic type. Wishing on a Blue Star was going to be a memorial book for him, but is now a celebration of him and his strength. You can find it for free at Dreamspinner Press. I've just started reading it and will post a review when I'm finished.

Noveling update

Update on my novel:

As you may recall, the end of February is supposed to mark the completion of my edits and the beginning of preparations to send it off for publication. While I am sticking to this, I am also warning that I'm permitting slight flexibility because of my recent computer problems. I still hope to finish by the end of February, but I'll be giving myself a day or two flex because of January's unforeseen events.

I'm currently on page 20 of 158. Some days get more editing done than others, and some days I'm tempted to trash the whole thing. It's very frustrating at the moment. In addition, I'll be rebuilding my desktop computer from the ground up, which is loads of fun. So looking forward to it.

Also, I'd love to have people who'd be willing to read through it and tell me (mostly plot wise) if things are good (or should I just give up [not that I'll listen to that, necessarily]). Drop me a message if you're interested. I won't be upset if you start reading and don't finish, especially if it's that bad, or in revenge for me doing something similar to you (just tell me which).